Dateless Rage #4

Dish boy... well there isn't much to say about that one. Smoked a ton of weed and wanted nothing to do with me unless it was on his time. He made me think that maybe i could form a decent relationship. Nope. When he was done, he told me "I don't actually like you, I was just tired of not having a girl." Well Fuck you!!! I became his booty call.... classy. You were tired of not having a girl? Meaning you were tired of your special hand time and wanted someone else to do it for you. You are gross. Have fun doing it yourself because now you have nobody. Screw you.... literally. He used me like a druggie and their favorite crack pipe. See ya' at work champ. -_-

Dateless Rage #3

"B" and I broke up in January. At the beginning of February I met my Lorax (big environment buff). Lorax had the whole sweet jerk thing going on. We talked every night and texted almost all day, he told me a million time how "beautiful" i was and called me his girl. I liked that. I liked when he called me his. It made me feel like something of importance to someone...... Then he walked out too.....
The weekend before my birthday we were going to hang out while he was home from school.... I put my blue dress on and did my face all nice. I was looking good. I sat on the couch and waited.... He never showed. He never even texted me. My sister took me to dinner. I went on my date... with my sister. While at dinner I met my new coworker... Dish boy.

Dateless Rage #2

This little "rut" I've stumbled upon began about seven months ago when i started dating someone (let's call him "B" for privacy purposes). B was fun, strong, attractive....and detached. No matter what I did it was useless. We dated for about two months. He had a habit of blowing me off. One of the months we were together I saw him one time out of school.... One day... in a whole month. This would bother me but it pissed me off because he made plans with me almost every other day......... ONE TIME IN A MONTH AND I DIDN'T LEAVE HIM... I'm not sure why I didn't leave him. I'm not completely sure why I cried so hard when he left. I think It's because I can't stand watching a guy walk out. I act like i'm tough but oh do boys play my weakness like a fiddle. Screw Him.

Dateless Rage #1

What happens when a guy blows a little lady off? SHE GETS PISSED. What happens when you give a pissed off teenage girl a blog? SHE RAGES. Now, you see, for the past seven months I've been blown off more than I've actually been on a date! This angers me.
No. Scratch that.
This truly creates a fire within my stomach that i would like to shoot out of my eyes and set specific people aflame.
... THEN... dance around their flaming bodies like a Little Indian Girl on crack cocaine screaming, "SCREWWWWWWWWW YOU".... yes. yes, that would really make me happy. Thrilled honestly.
It's not just me. I know that every single girl alive has been through this. And it's grade A bullshit. I talk to a guy and he asks me if I want to go on a date/ hang out, I say yes, THEN I SIT MY HAPPY ASS ON THE COUCH AND WAIT FOR NOTHING.
I could add this to the "Douche on a Date" series except I'd have to go on the fuckin' date for it to even count!
I have become fed up. Meaning, it's time for a new blog series..... Lord have mercy.

The Uncomfortable Change

I'm not really sure how to approach this. I'm not the type of girl who can easily stop and talk about feelings with many people. I may possibly be one of the most vocal people you'll will ever encounter, however, I'm just as timid as I am outspoken. I may talk fast and loud about ridiculous things but do you ever think I may do that on purpose? I talk a lot so people can't see right through me. It wouldn't be hard, if someone asked just the right question or caught me at the right time. I talk so nobody questions, I talk to avoid, I talk to hide. I share my thoughts outwardly but am greedy when it comes to sharing emotions.
Unfortunately, I can't even blog successfully until I get this off my chest. I love to swim freely in my own thoughts but I haven't been able to do that. This change has been weighing me down like an anchor. I've been trying to tread water with the anchor attached...... I can't do it....... I'm drowning. I know I need saved.... But it seems as though there's no lifeguard on duty.
I feel like there are millions of changes happening in front of my face but i'm helpless.
When I was little my dad was my hero.  He taught me how to do cartwheels, how to dig for fishin' worms, and the magic of the world around me. We have become progressively distant in the past few years. Any adult would say "oh that's normal, you being a teenager", but I don't know. Sometimes I catch myself so mad at him. At one point I wished he would go away.... I've gotten my wish. He will be moving to Texas within the next few weeks due to work. He didn't think it would be fair to move me my senior year of high school so he plans to move there and when i graduate, my mom and brother will move down with him. My oldest sister just moved out and my other older sister will be moving away for college this coming fall. I feel like as soon as I graduate i'll have no family left. Sure, i'll see them on breaks when i drive down to Texas but what about the random weekends I just want to see my mom? I'll feel too far away. I'm also unsure about spending all summer on the other side of the country from my friends.
Fun fact for today- I have one year until my lacrosse career is over......
My best friend, ( the one taking the girl who tried to hit me with her car to prom), still isn't talking to me. Years ago I wrote him a notes and this week he decided to take those notes and give to someone else to give back to me.... I cried.
This on top of finals and college preparations......... needless to say the anxiety has been striving.  

When family bonding becomes exclusive

You know what is fabulous about having a blog? You can rant about anything you want. I would like to fill this space online with how my day went... I woke up and was boppin around feeling pretty incredible. Looked in the mirror and said "dang! I wake up fabulous!" (untrue). Went to school and a girl said I looked like a walking mint in my black pants and green button down... Rude. ---skip to lunch--- (psycho going to prom with my best friend/ talking to her Ginger friend loudly to make sure I can hear) "I got my dress, we are Goin to look so cute together" (blah blah blah) she glances at me and says "I hear you two are fighting or something" I told her she was the reason he hasn't talked to me all week and that she won. Then I threw a banana at her and laughed... Ha! Another uncoordinated day in gym... Enough said. When I get home I decide (being 220 pages behind in a class book) to read and tan by the pool. After a half hour I notice everyone was gone... I looked around and called everyone but nothing. Everyone left and left their phones here and went to dinner and a movie without saying they were leaving , let alone inviting me!! When they came home my mom asked what I was doing for dinner and I said I wasnt aware that I was eating alone again tonight and I didnt know where anyone was. Then I got called a brat... That's cool. I was like hey thanks for inviting me to family fun night. I'm sure it was hard to see me out the giant windows all over the backside of the house. Can't see anything out those! I later got pulled into helping my sister pick out a prom dress tomorrow and was subjected to hearing the wonderful commentary from my parents about why I'm not going to prom... After, my best friend finally talked to me. He asked for his stuff back and Said I threw our friendship away. My only response for the day is suck my big toe... Thank you

Prom Infuriates Me

Prom enrages me. What is even the point?! Girls on average will spend $200+ on a dress, $100+ on hair and makeup, $50+ on shoes, and $15+ on nails. Guys on average will spend $140+ on a rental tux, $50+ on tickets, $50+ on a limo, $50+ on dinner, and $5+ on condoms... plus the alcohol money for their "after-prom". For those of you who can't count... that's on average $660+ ON A HIGH SCHOOL DANCE.... let me break this down for you... A girl will spend 200+ on a dress they will wear one, maybe two times. 100+ on hair and makeup that will hardly last through pictures. 50+ on shoes that will be removed within ten minutes of reaching the dance. 15+ on nails they guy most likely won't even notice.... they do this so they can take pictures and go to the dance and act like Angelina Jolie. They secretly enjoy competing to see who is the fairest of them all. why else would they have to spend so much money?! ARE YOU GOING TO A HIGH SCHOOL DANCE OR ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED?! Most people don't even stay at prom long! They leave early for an after prom.... keep in mind, the tickets cost between $25-$50.
Every day I hear/see girl drama. Someone is always going on about who they hate at school.... If you hate everyone... why go stand in a room with them on a Saturday night, if not to prove that you are "prettier" than them?
Why not just do what you really want to do?! Look hot, take pictures of yourself (make sure you add them all to facebook so that everyone knows that you think you are pretty), pick at salad (because Lord knows if you eat LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, you will spontaneously burst through your dress like the incredible hulk), go drink (and throw everything up.. including your "salad"), and hook up with your boyfriend.... You would be doing all the tasks expected just cheaper. If I wanted to go to prom I would dress in overalls, high socks, pigtails, no make up, and dance in my basement to my own music... in fact, I PROBABLY WILL! Am I bitter?  No.  Why? Because, I know I'm beautiful and I plan to do that when I get married... maybe. It's a high school dance... chill bro....
The next girl to ramble about how much they are spending on prom... i'm going to punch... hard, right in the fake boob.