Prom Infuriates Me

Prom enrages me. What is even the point?! Girls on average will spend $200+ on a dress, $100+ on hair and makeup, $50+ on shoes, and $15+ on nails. Guys on average will spend $140+ on a rental tux, $50+ on tickets, $50+ on a limo, $50+ on dinner, and $5+ on condoms... plus the alcohol money for their "after-prom". For those of you who can't count... that's on average $660+ ON A HIGH SCHOOL DANCE.... let me break this down for you... A girl will spend 200+ on a dress they will wear one, maybe two times. 100+ on hair and makeup that will hardly last through pictures. 50+ on shoes that will be removed within ten minutes of reaching the dance. 15+ on nails they guy most likely won't even notice.... they do this so they can take pictures and go to the dance and act like Angelina Jolie. They secretly enjoy competing to see who is the fairest of them all. why else would they have to spend so much money?! ARE YOU GOING TO A HIGH SCHOOL DANCE OR ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED?! Most people don't even stay at prom long! They leave early for an after prom.... keep in mind, the tickets cost between $25-$50.
Every day I hear/see girl drama. Someone is always going on about who they hate at school.... If you hate everyone... why go stand in a room with them on a Saturday night, if not to prove that you are "prettier" than them?
Why not just do what you really want to do?! Look hot, take pictures of yourself (make sure you add them all to facebook so that everyone knows that you think you are pretty), pick at salad (because Lord knows if you eat LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, you will spontaneously burst through your dress like the incredible hulk), go drink (and throw everything up.. including your "salad"), and hook up with your boyfriend.... You would be doing all the tasks expected just cheaper. If I wanted to go to prom I would dress in overalls, high socks, pigtails, no make up, and dance in my basement to my own music... in fact, I PROBABLY WILL! Am I bitter?  No.  Why? Because, I know I'm beautiful and I plan to do that when I get married... maybe. It's a high school dance... chill bro....
The next girl to ramble about how much they are spending on prom... i'm going to punch... hard, right in the fake boob.

Are You ****in' Kidding Me?

In gym class, my best-guy-friend-in-the-universe, looks at me and smiles real big and says, "I'm going to prom." I was slightly confused and asked whom with and he tells me her name. SURPRISE SURPRISE SURPRISE. He is going to prom with the psychopath that tried to run me over with her car... WITH HER CAR! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! How was I supposed to respond. He asked me what I would say if he asked me, i said yea.... then he goes with nut-job. Granted, i'm not exactly, "sane" but I have yet to attempt steamrolling someone..... All I said was "Don't let her drive." Last week he said she was the most annoying girl on the planet... so logically he asked her to prom?! I know i should support my friends but.... shouldn't i be concerned for the well-being of his life?
...... (shakes head) crazy kids........
good luck with that one... couldn't see that going wrong at all....
On the upside, if he lives long enough to have kids, he could tell them how he went to prom with America's most wanted...

Douche on a Date #4

It's certainly been awhile since I've touched my "Douche on a Date" series.... lucky me I've got plenty of additions.
This one took place two weeks ago today. I started talking to this guy and began to really like... as i always do. We'll two weeks ago we were going to go out to celebrate my birthday... I put on my blue dress... pockets included,  did my face all nice, and shaved my arm pits...... i was looking good... let me tell you.
I texted him periodically throughout the day for an update but he failed to respond to any of my messages.. Needless to say... We did not go out that night.... NEEDLESS TO SAY AS IN HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING! Instead, I went to eat with my sister where we both work.... it was pleasant.
He texted me later saying "oh sorry" and my responses were very short for some crazy reason... the next day he calls me and acts like nothing happened... again i was short and he asked why I was pissy.... really? you need to ask?! he went on to say that after months of talking he didn't actually see it going anywhere.... Awesome...... Does this count as a "Douche on a Date" if we didn't actually go on the date?? yes. yes it does count because this is my blog, meaning i can do whatever i want.... Fun how that works out.

Things guys don't understand about girls

There are a ton of things girls do that I'm pretty sure guys will never understand. I decided to pick up my blog again and thought this was an appropriate topic due to the envitable prom season that has unfortunately arrived. 1.)I wear high heels because I work out and believe my legs look smokin' in them. Guys don't get why girls wear high heels.... Yes, some are painful but we like them! You play with airsoft/bb guns and that hurts but you play anyways! I love wearing heels. 2.) I dress up because I like to look like a lady now and then! People seem to forget that I'm indeed a woman so i dress nicely to remind everyone that I think I'm awesome. Guys don't get that I am dressing up because I like to feel pretty, I don't dress up for you. My promiscuity is not rapidly increased by the clothes I wear. Even though I am wearing a dress and heels, you still don't have a chance. Sorry... 3.) my parents named me kaitlynn. I go by Kaitie. My name is not babe, baby, sexy, or any other variation. stop it! 4.)we watch chick flicks because it's sometimes nice to pretend there actually is that "perfect guy". We spend everyday with you I think we deserve a little hallucination every now and then. I could go on for days.....