Thursday, August 16, 2012

Slightly Less Average Than My Typically Awkward Day



This morning, so far, has been anything but normal. Not to say that my typical day is anywhere close to normal.  This morning I woke up an hour and forty minutes late, apparently my alarm clock took a sick day today….. So upon waking to the unfamiliar morning sun, I did gymnastics to exit my oh-so-comfortable bed.  I did an incredibly awkward flip out of bed in a panic and immediately thought “At least three- tenths deduction for the execution, hopefully I can stick the landing.” (I miss the Olympics)

I spent three minutes trying to decipher if I had enough time to take a shower before school.  While giving my best Lady Antebellum impersonation, I slipped…. and sure as hell stuck that landing… Got out of the shower and of course, slipped again… When I hit the ground I looked around to see if anyone saw (as if there would somehow be some kind of audience).

After getting myself ready I ran downstairs to find my mom standing in the kitchen. She had made scrambled eggs and bacon for breakfast. When I told her I didn’t have time to eat, she yelled at me. A quick argument later, I tossed the remaining scraps of bacon and a mound of scrambled eggs between slices of bread and called it a sandwich.  I stuffed everything into my backpack and grabbed my super special lunch box and snatched my sneakers. When I put my backpack on…. It broke…. Everything flew everywhere…. I grabbed a new bag and started striding toward my driveway. With everything in hand, a rabbit jumped out from the bush and I about had a heart attack. I jumped and shook my sandwich so viciously that chunks of scrambled eggs exploded in the air like egg fireworks around my “sandwich”.  Sara was watching from the car and had a good laugh at me. Since she decided to laugh, I decided to play along. As I got to the car I began acting like Elmer Fud. I looked around like the hunting cartoon and said “its wabbit season.” She laughed.

When we approached the never-ending stop light in front of the school, a chunk of egg rolled onto the floor. I had my window down and decided to pick it up and make a friend. I held the chunk out the window toward the lady in the car next to us. She looked over and I asked if she wanted some eggs. She was all sorts of confused and said no thank you. I kept a straight face and persisted, claiming the value of the egg. I told her it had cheese and pepper and was made with my mom’s love. She rolled her window up and kept looking at us…. So I began to dance. Sara and I giggled a bit as the light turned green.

Nothing really happened until lunch time. I was on my way to lunch with my very special lunch box and some underclassmen called me a stupid freshman. I said, “Actually I’m a senior, and this lunch box is the key to happiness.” They said, “Oh did your mommy pack it for you?” I said “Yes actually, comes equipped with a pudding cup, a sandwich with a stamp that says ‘I love you’, and a note from my mom also expressing her love.” Then I walked away swinging my lunch box like a kindergartener.  I showed everyone at lunch my cool sandwich…. They thought it was pretty cool.   

My typical Thursday? It’s not even noon…..

Head up. Eyes forward. Stand Out.

My life is average.

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